December 2017 marked the fifth anniversary of my quitting graduate school.
It was an anniversary that came and passed, but I frankly took no notice of that because I was a little preoccupied I gave birth to my daughter. Quitting grad school is the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. It’s so clear in retrospect it was time for me to leave my program even though at the time it was a difficult and complicated decision.
Quitting has been fantastic for my career. At the time I left my grad school program I calculated I was 10 years behind my peers who had chosen to go straight into their career fields. It took me three years after leaving, two jobs, and a lucky break to catch up to them in terms of salary. Within the last two years I’ve been able to work my way into a mid-level job with a good salary base that is well beyond what I would be making as a assistant professor. My husband and I bought house in a high cost of living area, contribute to retirement, bought and paid off a car and were finally able to make forward progress on our life goals.
But it’s not just the money. I realize now that if I had stayed to finish the PhD I would have felt compelled to take a job that required the credential even though I’ve come to realize that a lot of the research and analyst positions I thought I wanted were not in any way a good fit for me or even something I desired. That’s not to say that everything is awesome--there are still challenges and everyone makes compromises. I know in the long-term I’m interested in consulting and working for myself and that a whole new round of transitions will be necessary to do that. But quitting has given me the perspective that I can walk away when something isn’t working and be just fine.
It is amazing to look back at how far I’ve come in last five years and when I look at my daughter I realize how important it is to build the life you want because you’re the only one who has to live it. We put so much pressure on ourselves and allow others to put pressure on us, too, but ultimately success in life comes down to being willing and able to determine what you want and go for it. Not everyone needs to quit but if you feel the call, if you’re floundering, failing or even succeeding but miserable, you owe it to yourself to have the tough conversation. Be honest even when it’s uncomfortable and even when it’s scary to face decisions and be an active participant in shaping the future you want for yourself.
That said, my experience is not going to be your experience. But I hope at least by sharing my perspective that I can be helpful to some of you. I took so much comfort in finding others online who had similar experiences to myself and who had been brave enough to leave. When you find yourself searching for an answer that you cannot seem to find the answer to, you have to look to yourself.
Good luck!
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